Life of a Mallard: A Toxic Revenger story
by Tavorgwenn
Summary: Ah, the life of a hero- fame, fortune, and little personalized keychains. But what's a superhero to do when everyone else wants to get in on the act?
1. Default Chapter

Life of a Mallard: A Toxic Revenger story  
  
By Kelly Barina  
  
Disclaimers: Tiny Toon Adventures does not belong to me in any way, shape, or form and the characters are being used without permission.  
  
Acme Acres. A quiet, peaceful city. Unsuspecting of the lingering danger in its midst. All of the evil hiding in every street corner, every alley, and every Disney store. Evil that is.well, evil. Who can the city turn to for protection and security? It is I, The Toxic Revenger who will defend my beloved hometown from any villain who threatens it. The marvelous, the flawless, the modest, the inhumanly handsome mallad whose strength and skill know no bonds. "Plucky! I made you your peanut butter and fluff sandwich! Would you like me to cut off the crust for you, honey?" my mother called from downstairs. "Be there in a second, mom! Oh, and can you cut it into little stars for me?" I asked. "Of course, dear!" I resumed my position on the windowsill and gazed longingly over the horizon, striking a pose that could make all females melt. I stroked my beak thoughtfully. But nobody knows who I am. Nobody knows the good I do for this city. Well, I suppose everlasting fame, never-ending wads of cash, and weekly sacrifices will have to suffice for me. "Fear not, fair city! For I, your Savior will deliver you! I am the Toxic Revenger, most beloved of all heroes ever to walk this earth!" I announced. I stood on my windowsill, proudly puffing out my very masculine chest. The only response I got was from neighborhood dogs, which howled at the beautiful resonance of my voice. Whatever that means. I inhaled the sweet scent of my town and the night. Right after I recovered from a severe coughing fit, I resolved to go out into the darkness and find some people to bully. I quickly changed into my stylish costume and leaped out my bedroom window, spreading my graceful wings and closing my eyes blissfully. Unfortunately, gravity didn't seem to like the idea of me flying and I plummeted down toward the earth. "Stupid gravitational pull." I heaved myself out of the hole made by my body and marched to the other side of the house. "Looks like I'm going to have to bring out the heavy artillery." I rode out on a small red tricycle with a pink horn on the handlebar. The tiny wheels squeaked as I pedaled toward the heart of the city. "Hey, a mallard's gotta get around!" 


	2. On the road again

I pedaled faster and harder on the highway, blocking out the honks of the impatient drivers behind me. They threw crumpled up pieces of paper at my beloved tricycle. "Hey, duck, get outta the road!" Glaring over my shoulder at them, I stuck out my tongue at them. "Nyah! Nyah! I'm taking my time and there's nothing you can do about it!" A car door swung open slowly and I could hear the rock music blaring inside. A large boot smacked into the pavement. I gulped as a enormous man stepped out of the tiny station wagon and stomped toward me. I could almost swear the earth was shaking under my feet. The man glowered down at me and grabbed me by the throat. "I didn't hear you right, duck. What did you say?" "I am your faithful and humble carpet," I whispered hoarsely. I think he grinned, but it was hard to tell. "That's what I thought." He walked back to his car and got inside, revving the engine. "It's times like these that make me wish I was Arnold Schwartzenagger," I grumbled and crossed my arms. I pedaled my precious trike, but before I could get far, building-size tires ran over my and my vehicle, flattening the both of us. My paper-thin body clung to the tire and I rolled down the highway, muttering 'ow ow ow' the whole entire ridiculously long trip. "My back. my shoulder. my feet." I moaned. "My head. oooh, that felt strangely good. Ow ow, no, I was wrong. Head. beak. solar plexus. oooh, big word. Gotta remember that. ow. ow. ow. ow." 


End file.
